Find your Takis…

Welcome back beautiful people. Thanks so much for sticking around and choosing to read what has been on my heart lately.

This past month has taught me so much and I have experienced probably every emotion and feeling one can have. For some reason more than normal I have been experiencing a ton of anxiety. I have been faced with fear of the unknown lately like no other. I think starting a huge new chapter of my life by not playing volleyball has had a lot to do with it, but also as we all know the enemy likes to whisper whenever given the chance. It starts off as a small thought and just spirals down into a negative and toxic mindset. I have been thinking a lot of “what ifs” and “whys”. I am sure you can relate to this in some shape or form. Anxiety is something that can turn your good day into bad and bring in the tears out of nowhere. Anxiety leads to worry, fear, and lack of faith. See the thing I have had trouble with recently is asking myself why am I having anxiety? I try to live my life walking by faith, but I still get so anxious and to be honest it is so hard to trust God sometimes. I listened to a sermon recently and I related to it so much in how the pastor described anxiety. He described it as a person spinning around, getting dizzy, not being able to see, with lack of body control, and then the person stops and although all this commotion has happened, they are still in the same exact spot. This is exactly what happens when I am anxious. I start thinking of different scenarios, my mind is filled with the what ifs and fear, and then I have that sick feeling in my stomach, and then when I snap back out of it, nothing has changed, and I am still in the same spot. I miss the moment I am in; I lose sight of what is right in front of me, and I am not present. I have learned it isn’t a matter of if we will experience these feelings but what will we do to get us out. I mentioned this in my last post, about something that has really helped me fight anxiety which has been taking the focus off myself of being sad or anxious, and trying to show others the light. If I am showing others light and truth, I myself am forced to look at it. I have seen God work, and I always say He works in funny and mysterious ways of teaching different lessons and reminding me to trust Him. These last couple weeks have been life changing and I have been truly reminded of what it means to be in the present and finding joy in the smallest of things.

Here is my story on how 8 years ago, my life was completely transformed, and is still being impacted today. 8 years of spreading and looking at the light, and this year of doing that same thing but seeing God’s presence more than ever. The summer going into my eighth-grade year I just had this feeling that I wanted to do something that involved kids, sports, and giving back to El Paso. I had no idea what I was going to do, or where, or with who but I knew that I wanted to do something. I talked to my parents, and they could tell I was serious about this and were supportive and started making phone calls all around the city. We got a call back that a local community center named the Chihuahuita Center was open to do a summer sports camp, but its funding was too low and they were going to have to close. This center is in one of the oldest neighborhoods in El Paso, how cool is that?! Through lots of prayers, we knew this is where God wanted us to be, and so we started planning, provided funding for all the kids, and just followed where the Lord lead us. This community center is in a very under-served neighborhood in downtown El Paso. The back fence of this center is also the border fence separating the US and Mexico, and it’s so amazing!! The children down there range from ages 4-18 years old. The sports camp is called “ICAN”, and it stemmed from Philippians 4:13, but it is also a message to these kids that no matter where you come from and who tells you that you cannot, YOU CAN! And I think this serves as a reminder to all of us, even today. Even through the valleys, uphill journeys, and long nights WE CAN, YOU CAN, and I CAN get through it, and we CAN learn good from it. We also teach them a different sport every day and do different fun drills. We have been so blessed to have so many special guests give an encouraging message to these kids. We have had a variety of high school sports coaches come and speak, as well as the UTEP basketball and soccer teams come, and we have had a few professional athletes that have also come to speak to them. As the camp started to grow, we began going almost every holiday delivering Santa gifts at Christmas, having an Easter egg hunt, and everything in between. What is crazy is there is so much these kids love about this camp and program; however, all these kids really want is some love and attention. They need someone to tell them they believe in them, and they can do anything they set their mind too. Last year we did not get to do this camp because of COVID, and I was already in Waco for volleyball, and we really thought we would never get to do it again. Since COVID the center has remained closed, and my heart hurt because we were told it was going to permanently close. I also did not think I would get to be here for the summer because I thought I would still be playing volleyball and would not be able to come home. Like I said earlier, God works in mysterious ways, and His plans are greater. After I found out everything with volleyball and stepped away my first thought was, WE HAVE to make something work and pour into those kids. I needed to see them for my own sanity too haha.

My mom stepped out on faith and emailed everyone in El Paso who was important and had the power to open the center up. God answered our prayers, and we were told the city would open up this center ONLY for our camp. Tears and praises were shared because I knew this was straight from God, telling us to obey and just go! I could feel his presence so strongly telling me to just go, and he would provide the rest. Friends, I am sitting here right now writing this with 6 days of 2021 summer camp done and 4 more days to go telling you guys He has provided way more than I have ever prayed for. This year has been the most special yet. I really believe that it is not me and my amazing friends and family who are making a difference, but this year its these kids who are making such an impact. I have learned what it truly means to enjoy the little things and be present in every moment. I mean seriously guys the smile on their face when we eat popsicles during breaks, or just a big hug makes their day. My favorite thing is how excited they get when we give them snacks, like Takis. You would think these kids have won the lottery when they get to eat those. I love hearing them yell for joy and hug us because they are so grateful for the snacks. One little girl looked at me and said, “this is the best summer I have ever had”. This camp is nothing extravagant, but these kids are, and the way they love is what helps me love bigger. Walking in there I feel all my anxiety and troubles go away because I have learned from them that life is what you make it. You either sit and sulk, and or get up and shine brightly towards others. I have been reminded even a smile can change someone’s entire perspective. Just sitting here writing this makes me feel overwhelmed with gratefulness and makes me realize a lot of things. Friends, if you’re going through a hard time right now, take a step back and find something small that brings you joy, like takis haha. Find someone to hug and find someone to smile at. Life is what we make it. Just like these kids have taught me, make today the best day of your life even if it is a simple Tuesday. Make today great because you get the chance to breathe and make today great because if you’re breathing you still have the ability to shine. YOU CAN do it and YOU will make it through today. Don’t forget to tell someone you love them and remember that you matter. When anxiety hits, stop the spiral, and stand firm. You have such a beautiful purpose, and there is beauty even in the struggle. I hope today you find whatever your takis look like.